I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so that wasnt chicken after all
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
