I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
