I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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