Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
