i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
