I wanna bring you to show and tell
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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