I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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