So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
