I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
