I skipped work to stalk him.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
