I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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