do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
