i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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