A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
