please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
