They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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