well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
