he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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