i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize