I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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