Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
