But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize