It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
