the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
