Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
