i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's always time for handjobs
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
