no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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