i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
