from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
