I checked into jail on foursquare
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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