I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
