At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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