you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
