i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
