I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What a dumb baby whore.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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