Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
