So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
