she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
