I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize