5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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