I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
