butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
