Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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