Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
