lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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