You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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