so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
