why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
