why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
