A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
