My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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