He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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