I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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