I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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