we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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