think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize