I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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