this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
