Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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