I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize