I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
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