dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
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It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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